The Hectic Attic

How makes me suffer, your words with no sound
They do not come from your mouth, but from the heart
My thoughts make me blind, give me pain
I feel the anger of hypocrisy, love is lost
Storm of consciousness, see the hunger vanish
Confused feelings, see the hunger pray
We should face the cruelty
Hold hands, dig, dig and sow
Yes, sow bread plant love
Facing the selfishness to stop the pain
Telling to the winds of lies – that keep on destroying the truth-

You! Selfishness, go find something else to do!

Let the love come and the truth emerge
Do not let shadows be your life
Nor the joy of life be lost
Let out aloud, what is in your mind
Scream and say
Life without life is a punishment
If you dare receive my kiss

See! Humanity embracing love!
Then we would never hear soundless screams
I wonder
Have you ever heard a lost cry flying?

by Aline Martins

Can you hear the strings vibrating?
It is the sound of someone’s heart
of someone who loves but can’t wait
the remaining seconds before the next kiss

Can you hear that wonderful sound?
Believe, it’s me, dreaming
of you holding in your hands, the harp of life
The strings are vibrating with a passion, with the love

If the sound had smell, it would be the smell of love
the scent of a rose, which comes from you
in the garden of life
where you are the most beautiful flower

Do not deny you love me, I can feel it
in the tenderness of your hands
In your body, like the sound of the harp playing
Sweetness, is to be embraced in your burning kisses
Listening to the harp and your poetry under the moonlight
The day will have more light, I see it eventually (in my dreams)

Listen to the strings vibrating, shaking the body as it comes and goes
As the bee and flower, honey sucking the sweetness the garden possesses.

My Tattoo

Aline Martins

Today I am sovereignty,
I am Morrighan, Bouddica, Macha … I am woman
in my body, is the ancestral blood
In my mind, the ultimate inspiration
in my soul, the energy of all those who marched my breeding ground, and walked not in vain

Today I am woman,
I am the one who collects the spoils of battle, who fertilizes the earth, who curses the unworthy … I am Sovereignty
in my body, the smell of lust
In my mind, memories of dancing moments
in my soul, a mixture of energy, light, passion

Today I am a druid,
I am the one who walks among the cries of war, amidst ancient forests, between worlds … I am inspiration
in my body, seeds of creation
In my mind, the light of Awen
in my soul, magic, strength, gratitude

Today I AM….

Aline Martins

From which races, I am, was and will be?
Which colors and creeds, which luck?
How many lives lived and will live?
Died and will die of how many deaths?

How many loves and dreams and hopes
How much faith, how much pain
was I Mom or Dad, of how many children?
how many torments, and horrors?

How many children have I cried, in so many wars?
How many children have I raised and was happy?
How many bodies, how many waters, how many lands
did I touch, kissed, love and was root?

And how many times yet, to give me?
How many lives still to be reborn?
How many mouths, yet to be kissed?
How many deaths, yet to die?

Yet, conformed, I sing the song
The march, the mission, the pain that screams
And I got butterflies by my side
Made, like me, of Love and Land! …

Aline Martins

One day, I lived a divine life
I lived among Gods, all around and inside me,
but this life proved to be too easy to a complex mind,
So, I went down, to live a less real life, but,

Arriving there, I found an enchanted life,
not so visible, but enchanted,
I lived among unicorns and fairies, in the midst of forests and rivers.
But that life was too ethereal for a body as physical as mine.
So, I walked … to live a less magical life, but more palpable.

Arriving there, I found a house of great splendor,
a palace, but magical,
I lived among kings and princesses, inside great halls and festivals,
But this life, was too cold for a warm heart.
So, I danced … to live a less noble life, but more palpable.

Arriving there, I found a battle field,
where I could feel the cold war and the heat of the bodies,
I lived among heroes and traitors, in the midst of swords and spears,
But this life, was too gray for someone with hope.
So, I run… to live a less heroic life, but more palpable.

Then I found the “hut”
Simple, where the moon shone silver, and the smells were as the feelings within me,
I lived between the divine love and the cold war,
however, this life proved in its colours and pain that my love and difficulties were worth to be experienced.
So, I died … the arms of the one I love
to live more real, magical, noble, heroic and divine life.

And then I met you …

We can’t deny stories may guide our lives in ways we can’t explain, and I have to confess, the one that have been following me for a long time, is not a very happy one, but I find in it some elements that make my life magical and inspiring… so,if I could choose a poem/ fairytale, as a favourite, I would choose:
“The Lady of Shalott”, which is a Victorian ballad by the English poet Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809–1892). The poem talks about the Arthurian subject based on medieval sources.

What is it about? (Especially for those too lazy to read a good poem!)

The Lady of Shalott lives in an island castle in a river, which flows to Camelot, but the local farmers know little about her.
She seems to be a magical and Her business is to look at the world outside her castle through a mirror, and to weave what she sees into a tapestry/loom. She is forbidden by the magic to look at the outside world directly.

She knows not what the curse may be,
And so she weaveth steadily,
And little other care hath she,
The Lady of Shalott.

The farmers who live near her island hear her singing and know who she is, but they never see her.

The Lady sees ordinary people, loving couples, and knights in pairs reflected in her mirror.

One day, she sees the reflection of Sir Lancelot riding alone. Although she knows that it is forbidden, in love, she looks out the window at him.

All in the blue unclouded weather
Thick-jewell’d shone the saddle-leather,
The helmet and the helmet-feather
Burn’d like one burning flame together,
As he rode down to Camelot

The mirror brakes, the tapestry flies off on the wind, and the Lady feels the power of her curse.

Out flew the web and floated wide-
The mirror crack’d from side to side;
“The curse is come upon me,” cried
The Lady of Shalott.

An autumn storm suddenly arises. The lady leaves her castle, finds a boat, writes her name on it, gets into the boat, sets it adrift, and sings her death song as she drifts down the river to Camelot. The locals find the boat and the body, realize whom she is, and are saddened. Lancelot, in Love, prays that God will have mercy on her soul.

Lord Alfred Tennyson’s Inspiration

This is one of Tennyson’s most popular poems. The story of the Lady of Shalott is a version of “Elaine the fair maid of Astolat”, from Thomas Malory’s Morte d’Arthur. Elaine’s naive love for Lancelot was unrequited. She died of a broken heart (committed suicide). Her dead body (with a suicide note between her hands) was floated down the Thames to Camelot.

Some late authors wrote about her, or inspired in Tennyson’s poem, such as, Agatha Christie that wrote a Miss Marple mystery entitled “The Mirror Crack’d From Side to Side”.

Other forms of art were inspired by it, like, The Pre-Raphaelites Brotherhood painters. Where a good example is Waterhouse who made three separate paintings of “The Lady of Shalott”. I have a copy of one of them hanging above my bed… LONG STORY!)

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Even in a modern world, we have the exquisite work of Loreena Mckennitt in the following song:

and finally:

The Lady of Shalott – 1842 version

“On either side the river lie
Long fields of barley and of rye,
That clothe the wold and meet the sky;
And thro’ the field the road runs by
To many-tower’d Camelot;
And up and down the people go,
Gazing where the lilies blow
Round an island there below,
The island of Shalott.

Willows whiten, aspens quiver,
Little breezes dusk and shiver
Through the wave that runs for ever
By the island in the river
Flowing down to Camelot.
Four grey walls, and four grey towers,
Overlook a space of flowers,
And the silent isle imbowers
The Lady of Shalott.

By the margin, willow veil’d,
Slide the heavy barges trail’d
By slow horses; and unhail’d
The shallop flitteth silken-sail’d
Skimming down to Camelot:
But who hath seen her wave her hand?
Or at the casement seen her stand?
Or is she known in all the land,
The Lady of Shalott?

Only reapers, reaping early,
In among the bearded barley
Hear a song that echoes cheerly
From the river winding clearly;
Down to tower’d Camelot;
And by the moon the reaper weary,
Piling sheaves in uplands airy,
Listening, whispers, ” ‘Tis the fairy
Lady of Shalott.”

There she weaves by night and day
A magic web with colours gay.
She has heard a whisper say,
A curse is on her if she stay
To look down to Camelot.
She knows not what the curse may be,
And so she weaveth steadily,
And little other care hath she,
The Lady of Shalott.

And moving through a mirror clear
That hangs before her all the year,
Shadows of the world appear.
There she sees the highway near
Winding down to Camelot;
There the river eddy whirls,
And there the surly village churls,
And the red cloaks of market girls
Pass onward from Shalott.

Sometimes a troop of damsels glad,
An abbot on an ambling pad,
Sometimes a curly shepherd lad,
Or long-hair’d page in crimson clad
Goes by to tower’d Camelot;
And sometimes through the mirror blue
The knights come riding two and two.
She hath no loyal Knight and true,
The Lady of Shalott.

But in her web she still delights
To weave the mirror’s magic sights,
For often through the silent nights
A funeral, with plumes and lights
And music, went to Camelot;
Or when the Moon was overhead,
Came two young lovers lately wed.
“I am half sick of shadows,” said
The Lady of Shalott.

A bow-shot from her bower-eaves,
He rode between the barley sheaves,
The sun came dazzling thro’ the leaves,
And flamed upon the brazen greaves
Of bold Sir Lancelot.
A red-cross knight for ever kneel’d
To a lady in his shield,
That sparkled on the yellow field,
Beside remote Shalott.

The gemmy bridle glitter’d free,
Like to some branch of stars we see
Hung in the golden Galaxy.
The bridle bells rang merrily
As he rode down to Camelot:
And from his blazon’d baldric slung
A mighty silver bugle hung,
And as he rode his armor rung
Beside remote Shalott.

All in the blue unclouded weather
Thick-jewell’d shone the saddle-leather,
The helmet and the helmet-feather
Burn’d like one burning flame together,
As he rode down to Camelot.
As often thro’ the purple night,
Below the starry clusters bright,
Some bearded meteor, burning bright,
Moves over still Shalott.

His broad clear brow in sunlight glow’d;
On burnish’d hooves his war-horse trode;
From underneath his helmet flow’d
His coal-black curls as on he rode,
As he rode down to Camelot.
From the bank and from the river
He flashed into the crystal mirror,
“Tirra lirra,” by the river
Sang Sir Lancelot.

She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces through the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom,
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look’d down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror crack’d from side to side;
“The curse is come upon me,” cried
The Lady of Shalott.

In the stormy east-wind straining,
The pale yellow woods were waning,
The broad stream in his banks complaining.
Heavily the low sky raining
Over tower’d Camelot;
Down she came and found a boat
Beneath a willow left afloat,
And around about the prow she wrote
The Lady of Shalott.

And down the river’s dim expanse
Like some bold seer in a trance,
Seeing all his own mischance –
With a glassy countenance
Did she look to Camelot.
And at the closing of the day
She loosed the chain, and down she lay;
The broad stream bore her far away,
The Lady of Shalott.

Lying, robed in snowy white
That loosely flew to left and right –
The leaves upon her falling light –
Thro’ the noises of the night,
She floated down to Camelot:
And as the boat-head wound along
The willowy hills and fields among,
They heard her singing her last song,
The Lady of Shalott.

Heard a carol, mournful, holy,
Chanted loudly, chanted lowly,
Till her blood was frozen slowly,
And her eyes were darkened wholly,
Turn’d to tower’d Camelot.
For ere she reach’d upon the tide
The first house by the water-side,
Singing in her song she died,
The Lady of Shalott.

Under tower and balcony,
By garden-wall and gallery,
A gleaming shape she floated by,
Dead-pale between the houses high,
Silent into Camelot.
Out upon the wharfs they came,
Knight and Burgher, Lord and Dame,
And around the prow they read her name,
The Lady of Shalott.

Who is this? And what is here?
And in the lighted palace near
Died the sound of royal cheer;
And they crossed themselves for fear,
All the Knights at Camelot;
But Lancelot mused a little space
He said, “She has a lovely face;
God in his mercy lend her grace,
The Lady of Shalott.”

Have you ever met someone, and from that first moment you knew there was something special about them?

When a friendship was formed quickly and easily, and from the start you felt like this person knew you better than anyone ever could. You may have just met an Anam Cara.

Anam Cara is the Gaelic term for a soul friend. It is much more than just a regular friendship – the Anam Cara friendship is deep and transcendent. An Anam Cara knows your thoughts, your feelings, your past and your present sometimes better than you do.

The meaning of Anam cara is Soul Friend – Anam = Soul and Cara = Friend. An Anam cara offers spiritual direction. This includes the invitation to the awakening of your emotional body/mind/soul.

At one time or another we have all felt lonely or isolated. We have all had times were we felt misunderstood; standing on the outside looking in, just longing to belong. The Anam Cara eases that feeling of loneliness and isolation. Our Anam Cara understands us at a deep, spiritual level, and reminds us that we are never alone. They provide shelter from the storm and a light in the darkest of places.

Our Anam Cara is not necessarily our spouse, or partner (though they can be). Frequently our Anam Cara fills the role of a best friend and confidant. An Anam Cara may be a life time friend, who appears to us in childhood and stays with us throughout the years. Or they may appear later in life to accompany us on our journey. They may stay for years, or go out with the tide. However long they stay, their presence is a gift and a blessing.

And just as we are blessed by this relationship, so they are blessed too, because we, also, are an Anam Cara.

A Friendship Blessing
From the book “Anam Cara” By John O’Donohue

May you be blessed with good friends.
May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.
May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where there is great love, warmth, feeling, and forgiveness.
May this change you.
May it transfigure that which is negative, distant, or cold in you.
May you be brought in to the real passion, kinship, and affinity of belonging.
May you treasure your friends.
May you be good to them and may you be there for them;
May they bring you all the blessings, challenges, truth, and light that you need for your journey.
May you never be isolated.
May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your anam cara.

I have been thinking about some dreams lately. Dreams people had and also my dreams. My random, sometimes interesting reveries I’ve encountered in Dreamland.No, I am not only talking about dreams I have when sleeping

Today I concluded the 2nd out of 3 steps to my first BIG plan… and I am very happy. In a way I never thought I would. Better than this only having a True love, and having my Brazilian and English family in a single place- I miss them a lot, especially right now. (Guess my heart will always be partially broken).
After all:

“-What power would hell have if those imprisoned here would not be able to dream of heaven?”
Dream to Lucifer and the citizens of Hell, in Preludes and Nocturnes by Neil Gaiman

I decided to keep dreaming, but this time, with my feet on the ground! And things seem to be working!

All this reminded me of a movie I watched a while ago… it talks about dreams, inspiration, Love, eternal life…

“-People think dreams aren’t real just because they aren’t made of matter, of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes.”
John Dee, in Preludes & Nocturnes. By Neil Gaiman

“Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber’d here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to ‘scape the serpent’s tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.”
Puck in A Midsummer Night’s Dream: Act 5, Scene 1
by W. Shakespeare

but from today’s dream… I AM CELEBRATING, for this one is coming true!

Aline Titania Martins

Today, when I woke up my Attic was being Hectic again (people say I think too much).
What I had in mind was “The Allegory of the Cave” by the philosopher Plato…

My own shadow

I don’t want to be long but I will remind you:

Plato imagines a group of people who have lived in a cave all of their lives, facing a blank wall. The people watch shadows projected on the wall by things passing in front of a fire behind them, and begin to ascribe forms to these shadows. According to Plato, the shadows are as close as the prisoners get to seeing reality. He then explains how the philosopher is like a prisoner who is freed from the cave and comes to understand that the shadows on the wall are not constitutive of reality at all, as he can perceive the true form of reality rather than the mere shadows seen by the prisoners.

Well, what does it have to do with my day yesterday?
After a long time struggling with myself,(and now I came to realize It’s been years), I was willing to see life in it’s true colors. Enough of forms and shadows.
Of course, sometime we need a little help to let the chains loose, and I really have to thank a person for this.
When we me meet people, we never know why we did so, or how long they will stay in our lives… loves, friends. family and even enemies… But we know for sure, that, IF the paths crossed at some point, there IS something to be shared, taught and learned…

So, now, starting to step out of my cave, into the light, a poem came to be…

Do not forget that you
have a heart in your chest,
and those who are with you
have a heart too.

Do not forget,
that everything is a mad race,
reaching the goal is not insignificant,
but you do not stop feeling.

I do not say you’re forgetful
don’t forget this:
nothing is running but time,
and it eventually wins, how mean can it be…

Do not forget you,
and the many things you enjoy,
do not exaggerate in working and looking…
but above all

DO NOT FORGET TO LIVE!

Aline Light Martins

PS: thank YOU for yesterday!